Shit falling from the sky

School has been extremely exciting. I dunno if you've played this game where there are shit falling from the sky and you control this matchstick man guiding him to avoid the shit. This game pretty much describes how my life is like right now, and I'm hit by shit all over. This semester is way tougher than I thought, my inability to meet deadlines is increasingly apparent. My severe lack of sleep is affecting my cognitive abilities, if I had any to start with.

There is simply too much work lying around to be done and too little time and concentration to complete them. I have started the semester in the worst possible way: by playing games. Even though I’ve quit that game, the time lost has already proven to be too much.

Project is a major pain in the ass, hiccups everywhere. A (I think) supposedly brilliant-and-practical idea is now retarded-and-wtf-is-this-shit. This point out another major flaw in my character: the inability to notice details. There were so many hints around which I neglected. The only option left now is the usually patch work; keep trying to patch problems here and there when we find them.

Because of my 6th module, I'm having the 好人 vs 坏人 identity crisis again. This points to another flaw in me: I really should stop talking the way I do. Very often, what I say is different from what I believe. The statements I make are cold, negative, and asshole. But sometimes, I secretly hope that what I say is not true. I deny myself. Before I know it, I begin to spread negativity like an aura. I learnt to doubt, instead of trust. Lacking the basic trust for people and even myself. I don’t even know which one is the true me: what I say? Or what I think I believe?

好人? 坏人? Which one am I?

Oh damn, this end up as an emo post again. Here's a totally random and unrelated picture of my desk with my new monitor to make this post look a bit more interesting.

Acer S221HL 21.5" LED Monitor - S$179 from Comex 2011