I've been called many things: genius, promising young man, smart and fast learner, one who rises up to any challenge. The point is, I have achievements and abilities which many would die for. But why am I unhappy?
I realized it is a matter of perspective: seeing it half empty or half full really does make a difference. The worse of it is, I was trying to justify my pessimism with realism. That was no realism at all, I am fucked up, I am broken.
But I want to get better. There will be no help, because there are no one else good enough to convince my stubborn ass. But why do I need help from others? I already have the best one my side: me. As long as I can convince myself, I will pick myself up. I will fight to be an optimistic, forwarding looking man, who focus on solutions rather than problems, opportunities rather than risks.
I will use my source of negativity as the source of energy. My new optimism shall be the strongest as it is based on my previous pessimism. Putting the baseline at zero, every single step will be an achievement, and it compels you to move forward. Every little thing that you have will be a treasure.
PS. Sometimes, a person's smile, insight to someone's life can make you realize so much. It doesn't matter if the relationship works out in the end, because you have already gained something more important for yourself.
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