First week of school

First week of school was bad, really bad. The swirling pool of emo continues on, and my mood keep falling into a bottomless pit of darkness.

School obviously continues to be a crap load of shit. Now just the sight of the Zerg makes me pissed, they should just disappear, burn in a fire, die, anything. Just get out of my sight. To make things worse, as I have foreseen, this semester is really holy shit, gonna take a lot of effort just trying to pass.

Then again, school's the smaller part, as you would have guessed, the main part of the problem is still girls, I'm prolly getting desperate, lol. But seriously, Engin is PATHETIC man. Oh yes by the way, I saw that girl on BTC again! I'd believe (and hope) that she has lesson 9am on wednesday, with luck, I might get to see her every wednesday. I have a very quick judge of character, just by looking at a person's face, I'll know, and I am very seldom wrong. So based on my resonance theory, she is the type I'm looking for. However, the distance between is far far far far far... Friends who like drama suggest that I approach her. C'mon, I'm not retard, I had myself tested, lol.

Anyways, I'm facing an identity crisis, I am very confused. I don't like the person that I am now, but I don't know who I want to be. For a very long time, I am a cao ah beng, I know it, and I sort of like it, because it differentiates me from the typical fucked up undergrads. But it has another problem, nobody takes a joker seriously. I mean sure, as a joker, i tend to be the centre of attention, I like it, but I have to admit, it's the cool, stylo kind of guy who gets the girl, no matter how jerk he is. Being cool is just not in my blood, I can try to act cool, but it's kinda obvious, and it suck. So part of me wants to be the rowdy cao ah beng, another part wants to be a stylo professional kind. And the biggest part of me don't know what I want to be.

Time is a very cruel thing. As I am trapped in the whirlpool, time continues on, work has to be done, exams have to be failed...