You never actually stop loving someone

The places you've been to, the food that you've ate, the things that you've done, the habits developed when you were together - each and everything which has a connection will remind you of her.

Having been through 2 relationships now, I realized that you never actually stop loving someone. The relationships may have ended, but the moments and love shared are still deep in your heart.

It brings a deep sorrow to be going through things which reminds you of the love you used to have. Because you know that it can only be a memory and nothing more. Because you will start questioning if the relationship could have worked. Because you will reach the same conclusion that it wouldn't have worked, yet again. Because you will miss her all over again.

You may wish to go back in time to undo everything. You may wish to remove everything from memory. But you know that these are valuable to you - you will want to keep it. They are part of you.

Each of these little moments was part of your journey which helped defining who you are right now. Do not be sad that the times together are over - be happy that you were together before. Do not deny the effect and influence, and the lessons you have learned from them - embrace all of these as a part of you.

To both of you, I thank you for being in part of my life. I thank you for your courage in choosing to love me. I'm sorry for leaving you in the end. I was young, I was inexperienced, I did not know how to love. But both of you taught me how to love, how loving and to be loved feels like.

Drawing from these lessons, I know I will become a better person, I know clearer what I am looking for, I know better how to appreciate my partner, I know how to love her better, and most importantly, hopefully, I'd know how not to hurt her.