Why do I count every cent? Why do I plan for housing loan road maps, or second property, or retirement? Why do I prefer a central area? Why do I need a wedding banquet?
When I thought marriage is a partnership, it is actually her vs me.
"MY" side of the story doesn't matter anymore, her perspective is already fixed.
It doesn't really matter what I think, my perspective is just a challenge for her to convince.
Then why stress to provide for a stable future "for both of us"? My stability and down-to-earth mindset is a weakness, a fear of challenges to her.
"Choose the lifestyle you want and fight for the paycheck to sustain it" - yes, I have said that before. I have tried, it is not sustainable. "Choosing the lifestyle that you want" doesn't mean to spend like you are already living it, it means setting a goal and future and fight for it. I had spent future money before, I was burned.
Expectations, perspectives and priorities are mismatched. If both sides hang on to their own, the relationship will have to give way. Yet I cannot "bargain" on sincerity based on a price tag - implicitly, I am just fuel for her dreams; my opinions are irrelevant.
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