A message to the one I have loved and hurt so much

Hi Alwina,

If you are still reading my blog, you might have known that I have found someone.

While attempting to put away the cards and letters you wrote to me, I read through some of them, and that really brought tears to my eyes. I know that I have already moved on, but going through those words from you still overwhelmed me with emotions. I felt that I have to let you know what I feel.

I realized that I have been really selfish, and the entire breakup was really just all about me not getting what I desire. You actually sensed that we were moving apart as early as last anniversary.

I'm really sorry for giving up on the relationship, especially after hanging on for 3.5 years. I hope that you were really happy during the times we were together. It was painful for me to accept your love, as the more you loved me, the more guilty I am for not being able to accept you for who you are. I truly loved you, and the biggest reason why I hung on to the relationship for such a long time was because I was afraid to see you sad, I was afraid to see you having to lead a life without me. But eventually I realized that we would do much better going in a separate path. 愛一個人就要懂得放手, that's why I chose to let go, I could not see a future with you where we do not hurt each other. I'm sorry.

I really hope you are doing well. I hope you can find someone who loves you, and appreciate you for who you are - appreciate the love that you give to him. I hope you find happiness.

Life has been rocky for me, my job is chaotic as usual, especially now with the uncertainties of me staying or leaving the company. But I know I'll be alright with her.

As we have dated before, and for such a long time, I felt that I should be accountable to you that I have moved on and found someone else, especially after such a short time since our breakup. It was purely coincidence that I met her, and it was like fate that we each have a past which makes us resonate so well together.

Moving forward, there are bound to be more writings on my life, since this blog is to keep track of thoughts and emotions which are in my head. Which means that there will be more writings of my new love with her as well. You are more than welcomed to continue reading my blog, since we have agreed to stay as friends, but I just felt that I needed to clarify this to prevent anymore hurt to you even after our breakup.

Best Wishes,
Snorlax