New train of thought

My high school teacher left me an advice regarding book reading last gathering, which changed my opinion on reading books. I used to think that reading books is just one man reading another man’s junk. But he said, the author of a book may have spent 30 years to gather the experiences, he compiled it and wrote it into a book, which would probably take you around 1 month to read it. Whether you find it beneficial is another thing, but if you do get something out of that book, you spend 1 month to absorb what the author took 30 years to experience.

While I still believe that many so-called “inspirational” books are still bullshit, I decided to act on his advice, to pick up a book and start reading. The first book which came to my mind was “The 7 habits of highly effective people”. I didn’t regret doing that. Stephen Covey is indeed an incredible author.

Well to be frank I’ve just started reading it, and I’m not going to talk about what he wrote in the book, what I want to talk about is the thought I have after reading it.

Anyone who knows me would agree, that I’m a self-proclaimed asshole that, as she put it, goes around and agitate (offend) people. Yet on the other side of the coin, there are people who see the good in me, like some of my friends, and that teacher I mentioned. He said, my nature is good, but I keep saying things which will agitate/offend people (she’d agree) and make people think that I’m an asshole. He also said that I should drop that defensive armor which I’m “wearing”, because if people wanted to attack me, they’ll still get through anyways, so there is no purpose in that “armor”.

For a very long time, I couldn’t figure out which one is the real me. Am I an asshole who tries to act nice sometimes to create a nice guy image to get some attention? Or am I a nice guy who acts tough on the surface in attempt to defend myself from harm?

Stephen’s discussion on character and personality ethics gave me an answer. In a nutshell, what I understand from his discussion is: character is like the core of a person, something which will hold true regardless the times and environment; personality is the reaction which a person develops to adapt to the situation, something which is temporary and changes according to the environment.

I have many theories of how the world is unfair, how money dominates human etc, but beneath all that, I felt a voice within me which really want to believe there is still good in this world. I realize immediately that the theories I’ve developed is really a defensive measure in reaction to deal with the world, and that small voice within is my character. I realize that I really wanted to be a good person.

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. -Albert Einstein

Never in my life have I been able to see myself so clearly; never in my life have I so strongly feel a need to change. The book was able to lift me to a higher level, and allowed me to solve the problems which I had for so long. I really hope that I’ll be able to complete the book, and that it’ll grant me even further insights.