Results. More Reflections.

EE2006 - B+

EE2009 - A

EE2010 - B-

EE2012 - B+

LSM1301 - B

The impossible has happened: I actually got an A, and the A is for EE2009. I still can’t believe I got an A, my first A in NUS. And of course, I still have no freaking idea what that module is talking about.

I must say that I am extremely satisfied about my results, with 3.9 for semester CAP, and pulling my overall CAP from 3.26 to 3.42. Still a pretty lousy CAP, but the improvement is there.

Now, even though I did pretty well (in my opinion) for the exams, I can’t help but to feel somewhat disappointed too. I’ve always thought that with my capabilities, I can score more A’s if I want to, I’m just being lazy and under performing. But it turns out my capabilities might be just limited, and pretty low at that. I’ve summoned the highest level of self discipline ever and put in a lot of effort this semester. I’ve done the most number of past years papers, and followed the tutorials as closely as possible. Of course I’m glad that my effort paid off, but at the same time, I think I may have reached my limit. My peers are getting like 2 A’s and 3 B+’s or even better. I hate to admit it, but it turns out that I am really inferior. This semester’s result might be the best I am capable of.

Of course I can’t use that as an excuse to slack off and give up. I think the true enemy is your own self, if you believe that you are bounded by your own limits; there is nothing else that can be done. I know that. I need to challenge and push my limits even further, I might not see A’s again, but i should  at least try to reach the second lower class. I need to try hard not to compete with others, since they’re so far better than me, comparing with them will just dampen my own morale. Instead, I should focus on outdoing myself, trying to do better than I ever did before. It’s like a race, if you see that the others are far ahead of yourself, you feel demoralized and give up. But if you just focus on yourself and keep putting one leg ahead of another, you will eventually complete the race.