Results. More Reflections.

EE2006 - B+

EE2009 - A

EE2010 - B-

EE2012 - B+

LSM1301 - B

The impossible has happened: I actually got an A, and the A is for EE2009. I still can’t believe I got an A, my first A in NUS. And of course, I still have no freaking idea what that module is talking about.

I must say that I am extremely satisfied about my results, with 3.9 for semester CAP, and pulling my overall CAP from 3.26 to 3.42. Still a pretty lousy CAP, but the improvement is there.

Now, even though I did pretty well (in my opinion) for the exams, I can’t help but to feel somewhat disappointed too. I’ve always thought that with my capabilities, I can score more A’s if I want to, I’m just being lazy and under performing. But it turns out my capabilities might be just limited, and pretty low at that. I’ve summoned the highest level of self discipline ever and put in a lot of effort this semester. I’ve done the most number of past years papers, and followed the tutorials as closely as possible. Of course I’m glad that my effort paid off, but at the same time, I think I may have reached my limit. My peers are getting like 2 A’s and 3 B+’s or even better. I hate to admit it, but it turns out that I am really inferior. This semester’s result might be the best I am capable of.

Of course I can’t use that as an excuse to slack off and give up. I think the true enemy is your own self, if you believe that you are bounded by your own limits; there is nothing else that can be done. I know that. I need to challenge and push my limits even further, I might not see A’s again, but i should  at least try to reach the second lower class. I need to try hard not to compete with others, since they’re so far better than me, comparing with them will just dampen my own morale. Instead, I should focus on outdoing myself, trying to do better than I ever did before. It’s like a race, if you see that the others are far ahead of yourself, you feel demoralized and give up. But if you just focus on yourself and keep putting one leg ahead of another, you will eventually complete the race.

Reflections: Confidence vs Arrogance. Persistence vs Stubborn

Two simple comments from her which made me think: “You’re like living in your own world” and “You like to assume”. I guess I've been receiving too much compliments from a friend, an ex-colleague, and a colleague, who said that I have very mature and deep thinking. But she said “You think that you’re very matured”. I think she was joking when she said it, but there is some truth in it.

My take on Confidence vs Arrogance:

Confidence is being certain of who you are, and what you are capable of.

Arrogance is when you’re so confident of yourself that you think others are inferior.

My take on Persistence vs Stubborn

Persistence is about having principles, views, or opinions of your own.

Stubborn is when you assume your principles, views, or opinions are always true.

Basically I want to be confident, yet not arrogant; persistent, yet not stubborn.

But I think I have slipped back into arrogance unknowingly.

I think she’s right in saying that I am living in my own world. My knowledge is extremely limited, and my views are narrow-minded. There are too many stuff which I don’t know, and I do not understand; my views are not properly balanced. But the compliments I had recently have made me believe that I know a lot, as if I've seen and know everything. I do know that my views are very extremist, the childish part is: I am actually proud of it.

“You like to assume”. Adding on to the fact that I am living in my own world, I also like to assume. Biggest mistake is that I assumed that I have a good judge of character, and each time I say something about something or someone, I conveniently assumed that I am correct.

How the hell did I let this happen again? I like to describe arrogant people by saying that their “glass” is full, but in actual fact is”我有嘴巴讲别人, 没有嘴巴讲自己”, I have failed to realize that my glass is also full. I should have noticed it when I realize that I find more and more people stupid. I mean really. When you find that everyone else is wrong/stupid, and you’re the only correct one, something must be wrong.

Considering the giant asshole I was in JC, I took great care not to turn back to the asshole I used to be. But it seems I am not able to tame the arrogant bitch in me after all so long. I need to work more on keeping myself in check. The irony is, I was just commenting on another person who tried so hard to change himself into someone he originally wasn't.

I think the first thing I need to do is to reflect on some of the “philosophies” which I have, I need to start acknowledging the good, the miracles, and the nice things in people, instead of assuming that everyone is an asshole by default. Of course, assholes are still everyone, lol. Also, I must do something about being lazy, time to throw this old pest out. Throwing lazy out is quite complicated, but what needs to be done has to be done. I have no idea how, but I think adopting the idea of “what needs to be done has to be done” can be a start.

Work at Polo Ralph Lauren

For this sem’s vacation, I’ve managed to find myself a relatively better paying job at Polo Ralph Lauren, S$7 /hr. So I can finally say goodbye to The Headphones Gallery and its bullshit.

This job is pretty nice actually, but as usual, I always have something to complain, lol. As with all front service jobs, standing long hours is a must, and I have mostly gotten used to standing long hours. But the most irritating part about this job is the leather shoes, I hate wearing leather shoes seriously, pain in the ass. Ok, maybe pain in my feet, not ass.

The pay: even though it’s S$7 /hr, per day I have only 8.5 hrs of work for morning/afternoon shift, and 12 hours for full shift, deducting the break time, it is $52.50 and $73.50, at headphones, I’m paid $60 per day, so sometimes more, sometimes less. Furthermore, the work per hour is higher too, with many random tasks to do.

Oh ya, one thing I must mention: IBT. IBT is transferring stocks from the Scotts Isetan branch to the Takashimaya branch; I suspect it stands for Inter Branch Transfer, tho I’ve never asked. It takes me around 10 minutes just to walk to Isetan. Seriously tiring, but each time I go for IBT, I can waste half an hour, very good way to pass boring time, and to lose some weight as well, haha.

As some may know, Ralph Lauren is expensive in Singapore, the polo tees are around S$200 and this is like the standard pricing. I was steaming a dress the other day, and I was shock to see the price: S$1070. Can you imagine that? I can buy an iPad with S$1070.

I took a picture of some of the over S$1000 dresses:

S$1430

S$1070

S$1070

To be frank, Ralph Lauren does indeed have pretty quality products, compared to brands like LV which sells only the brand. The designs are humble, yet very nice, and the materials are  quite good. Take that blue dress I steamed for example, it looks simple but pleasant, and gives a classy feel. And oh ya, the material is 100% Mulberry Silk. I can only imagine my (future) girlfriend wearing it, she'd be quite gorgeous.

Anyways, after only 1 week of work, I'm feeling pretty worn out already, and work just feel like counting down to ORD, just like all my other jobs. I should be working till end of June, tho I'm asked to work till July. I think I'd consider, base on how tired I am. Anyways, I doubt it'll be a big deal if I don't continue, since the other part-timer (also from NUS) is pretty hardworking and smart, actually better than me, and I think he'd continue.


*Edit 15/06/2011*

S$890

 Added one more dress, I really like this one, my favorite. A nice touch of feminine and "coolness" together. I bet my girlfriend will look gorgeous in it too. Just one problem (other than the price), I don't have a girlfriend, hah.