People say love is complicated

I just identified one of the reasons why I am still single: I do not have MN1101 – Money $$$$$, the pre-requisite for LV1101 – Love and Women. Ya sure, everyone says “you don’t need money to have a girlfriend”, but hey, they say god exists too.

Let me break down the expenditure for a basic, simple, easily contented girlfriend.

Monthly:

In our minimalistic model, let’s say the couple goes out just once per week, and summing up the miscellaneous expenses (meal, movie, koi, etc), that’s at least $40-50 per week, that adds up to approximately $160-200 per month.

Special occasions:

There are several special occasions when you’re attached, Valentines’ day, Christmas, Birthday, and random Anniversaries. For our minimalistic model, let’s say you get a bouquet of flowers, a small gift, and a meal to celebrate.

Bouquet of flowers (small): $50-$100
Small Gift: $50-$100
Meal: $50-100
Total: $150-$300

Annual Fee: $160 x12 months + $150 x4 special occasions ≈ $2500 per year.

$2500 per year, that’s 4x the amount I have in my bank account. Now, the girls will probably defend themselves by saying “I don’t need my boyfriend to spend that much what”. C'mon, these calculations above are very minimalistic, assuming the cheapest items like food courts, fast food for normal meals, normal entry level restaurants for celebrations.

Now, remember we are talking about a MINIMALISTIC model, and we took the lower limits for the calculations. Singapore girls as we know, are on average pretty high maintenance, so it’s not MN1101 and LV1101, it’s MN2301 and LV 2401, with the annual fee multiples of what we calculated.

Now here comes the interesting group: the atas undergraduate girls. Simply put, they are basically LV4601-GCP – Love and Golden Cheese-pies, with pre-requisite of MNC4900-FIR – Money, car, and Father-is-rich. The grade you have for MNC4900-FIR, determines the grade you get for LV4601-GCP.

Basic gradings:

-not rich, stays hdb,
-don’t have car
-take bus to school,
→ you do not have MNC4900-FIR, pre-req not fulfilled.

-pretty rich
-family has car,
-usually take bus to school, sometimes drive,
→you have MNC4900-FIR, grade C; you are eligible for LV4601-GCP, grade C.

-rich, stays in condo or landed property,
-have a personal car
-drives to school
→you have MNC4900-FIR, grade B; you are eligible for LV4601-GCP, grade B.


-fucking rich, landed property worth 10mil
-have branded sports car, porsche, audi or anything expensive
-drives your sports car to school daily
→you have aced MNC4900-FIR; LV4601-GCP, grade A will throw themselves to you.

So, people say love is complicated, it's not really that complicated, just pre-requisites and calculations.