The Big Picture

I have been an advocate of viewing things in the so called “big picture” for a long time. I pride myself in my ability to view or create the structure in any situation while others fill in the minute details. I even dismiss those who are hung up on details. But more often than desirable, I fail to practice what I preach. As a perfectionist, I get irritated and persistent over small and less significant things, subconsciously assigning higher priority than these things deserves just because it irritates me.

Today, with thanks to a nightmare, I have finally gained some light on what it means to take a step back and put everything into perspective. We play life in the first person view, we can try to put all the things together from the angle where we are viewing, but looking at ourselves in a bird’s eye view is practically difficult. “Taking the step backwards” is tougher than people believe. More often than we’d like, the things around us pulls us as if we are bounded to them by strings, this renders it virtually impossible to take a step back since everything is pulling us so tightly.

I have not quite fully understand how to achieve it, but once in a while, like the nightmare that I had, certain events happen and throw your soul high up from yourself and in that instant, you can see things clearly than before, and realize how foolish you have been hanging on to minute things. Now that some light finally managed to get through, I wonder how long will this last before I get tied up by those binds again, how to take that step back again when I get bounded, and how to let go of those binds.

Searching?

I realize that all along, I was searching for something, someone, a light in the sky, which will tell me what to do... But when I look up, all I see is nothing but endless darkness.