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Sunday, February 12, 2017

The thing I must protect

There is no meaning in life, you are the one who chooses what you want and give it meaning.

I have chosen family; it will always be at my core.
It seems I have been given a chance to try again, I hope don't screw up this time.

Do not say or do stupid things which you know will end up hurting those who are important to you.
Think before you act, do not do things out of temptations, convenience or curiosity.

You've made mistakes in the past which has caused bad enough repercussions, do not do stupid things again.

Think before you speak, do not say things out of spite or to get attention.
Words which come out at the spur of the moment doesn't help, it can cause hurt and make a crack in relationships.

Do not say things which you don't actually mean it.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Love is an emotion, relationship is a commitment

A relationship often begin because of love. But what happens when love runs out?
It's not always sunshine and roses in a relationship, there are storms and hardships as well.
Everyone knows this theory, but not everyone understands it.

A relationship requires maintenance. Constant, consistent, and honest communication between each other is key to staying together.
Again, everyone knows this theory, but at the same time, everyone thinks that they have put in enough, it's their partner who needs to put in more effort.

Love stories give an illusion that if it's meant to be, my partner should notice or know what I'm going through.
But none of us are mind readers, we see the world and understand it through our own perspective.
Nobody will understand you unless you tell them honestly how you feel.
Forget the mind games, guessing, and hinting - nobody will catch they hints if they don't know that it was a hint.

I was in a relationship where we promised to be honest, to be open to each other, to work together.
But my honesty was being doubted, my past mistakes were held against me, my character was untrusted.
It was to the extent that my sincerity was ignored, and I was judged for material things which are unwise to pursue at this stage of life.
In the end, my efforts were taken for granted, and it became a one-sided maintenance.

Hints and sarcasm are bad ways to communicate. It creates a barrier between people.
I don't know if it was the nature of her character, or it was a reaction to my sarcastic amd skeptical nature.
Regardless, we ended up engaging in hidden war of trying to influence and change each other.
It actually doesn't take that much time to know a person, but it takes time for love to run out and acknowledge the problems.

So do yourself a favor: be honest, and mean what you say.
If you are honest to each other, there is no need to guess at all.
Do not second guess your partner's words, do not be skeptical and doubt their motives and intentions.

It is really our own responsibility to communicate to each other - so that they how what we're thinking, and how we feel.
And in turn, it is a mutual respect and responsibility to not judge or be over senstive about what each other says.

Monday, February 6, 2017

Always keep an open mind

One more time: do not judge, do not assume, do not over think.

It is not what actually happens which brings 2 person apart, it's our perspective of it which pushes each other away.

This time, I should truly learn to not second guess people's motives, to not jump to conclusions about people's actions.

Putting your heart in others' hands is a truly dangerous thing to do. It's an act of trust initially, but can lead to defensiveness in the end. If you build a wall around it at the slightest sign of hurt, it is going to be an emotional barrier which is really hard to cross.

I've been hurt before, but that was the past. I should not judge others based on the negativity I have been through, it is not fair to them.

Treat people with fairness, let them into your life.

When in doubt, ask - don't assume.
Treat each other with honesty; remove the guessing between you and your partner.